a twisted twist

...suddenly i saw a blinding flash. for a moment i thought i must have died and gone to heaven, but slowly the whiteness fades back into reality and, to my great amazement, she is in front of me, her hands cupped over both my cheeks. she is smiling her wonderful smile at me. once again i feel my heart struggling to burst out of my chest like it has done everytime i see her looking at me.

she moves her face closer to mine and presses her lips against mine. they are warm and soft, just like i've imagined forever. her kisses become more insistent, it almost feels as if she is licking my lips... no... my cheeks... she moves to my ears... i feel goosebumps run up and down my arms... she continues licking my ears, then moves back to my nose...

WHAT IS THAT GOD-AWFUL STENCH!?!, i think to myself. i start to struggle to break free of her grasp on me, but my hands seem to have turned into lead. try as i might, i can't even lift a finger. i open my mouth to scream, but nothing comes out my a muffled, tortured cry of agony and fear.

in complete and utter panic now, my eyes dart around my room and see my desk to my right. i quickly scan its contents, hoping to find something that may be useful against this amazingly-strong-nympho-with-sewer-breath on top of me. i see my alarm clock. it looks heavy enough. i reach for it but my hand falls short. forcefully, i turn my body sideways so i can reach. i had barely manage to touch the clock when it begins to ring, at first a muted ring, then in an unbelievable crescendo turning into a deafening roar in my head.

the next events were a flash. i felt something hard hit the side of my head with enough force to make my vision swirl, then as my focus returned, i feel an urgent vibration on my left leg...

(fade to black)

it is now 3:42 in the afternoon, and i still haven't gotten over the shock of fallig out of bed and waking up to my dog humping my leg and licking my face.